Happy Mother's Day!

Too all women - Happy Mother's Day!  I say it this way, because though not everyone has human children, every woman has mothered someone. 

For example, my non-traditional heritage:

My great-grandmother had three children, but she also helped mother her grand and great-grand children, not to mention a myriad of other family members, neighbor kids and so on.

My grandmother raised three kids, helped with grand kids and kept the neighbor kids from burning anything down.  (They were likely my father's friends.  :)  )

My Aunt Marla has raised a myriad of animals and did her share of babysitting when I was a baby.

My mother raised three kids, neighbor kids, helped raised my nephew, has guided many wayward alcoholics and handled many people who just needed direction.

My step-mom raised a daughter, helped raise the three of us kids and continues to raise wayward souls who are non-directional - even lonely adults need mothering sometimes. 

I am a pet parent, helped raise my two brothers and helped raise my nephew.  And, ask anyone, I tend to mother period.

These examples are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to why women end up neglecting themselves.  Even if we never have babies we are busy caring for the world.  Everyone needs nurtured and there is something in us that must respond.  While commendable, we need to remember to be there for ourselves as well.

So, Happy Mother's Day, but don't forget to mother yourself too.

Yours in Health,
Kate

Sunday Inspiration - Happy Mother's Day

Many women have inspired me over the years:

My Mom, Marcia - She's my hero and she hates that I say that. She has made sacrifices for my entire life, from conception on and with a little complaint. She is strong, stubborn, tough and soft as a bunny all rolled into one. I am just like her in many ways and I couldn't be more proud. She has supported me on this journey and I thank her.

My Grandmother, Jean - I know more about her history than she may realize. She has been a kind-hearted rock even in times when her life couldn't have been worse. She always has a smile, a kind word and love - even when she wishes you hadn't made a certain choice. She has a quiet strength that is unmatched. I often wish I were more like her, she isn't loud and brassy, but she is still effective as all get out. I am always impressed.

My Great-Grandmother, Irene - We lost her in 2006. The later part of her life was hard for me to watch, she gave up a little. But the first 90 years were pure fight, fire and power. She was hard working, opinionated, tough, fun and drove like she was at Indy all the time. I don't have her lead foot, but people often tell me I am very much like her. I hope that is true.

My Step-Mom, Lorie - Throughout her life she has faced adversity and won. She is wise and witty and never fears fun. Yet, she can give a withering look and quickly bring the out of control back to Earth. She has been a good friend and a good foil.

Lori, my roomie - While not technically a mother in the biological sense, we do share three cats. She is also an amazing Auntie to Ben and Abby and to my own nephew Caelen on occasion. I didn't like her when we first met, she was too quiet for my taste. Turns out that's because she is always sizing up a situation and preparing the perfect rapier comment for when she deems a situation worthy. That's just one of the ways I wish I were more like her.

There are a myriad of other women who have inspired me - my sister-in-law Annette, Geneva at the office, women in politics, women at non-profits, women fighting disease and just women I have bumped into that have an amazing story.

Whether women actually have children or not, (I don't) doesn't really matter on Mother's Day. This is really a celebration of women. We take care of the world. We deserve appreciation.

So go forth and appreciate your women today.

Yours in (mental) health, Kate

I would never have believed it...

Today I did something that would have made me gripe and be in ample pain three months ago; I could never have done six months ago; would have killed me 9 months ago.

For Mother's Day my mom ordered herself 36 rose bushes, she said all she wanted from the three of us kids was for us to plant them. Now, I have two younger brothers who are big, strong guys, so this was going to be no problem. They would dig, I might bury them and someone else could come along to fertilize. Last night, in an otherwise unremarkable conversation with my, now week and a half post-op, Mom to check on her health, she mentions that the bushes have arrived early. (They were due late NEXT week.) So, my step-father, who has his own very serious weight problem, is going to plant them all, by himself. Uh, no. I ask Mom if he wants help, she says, "Sure, I think he would like that."


This morning I call over to see what time he is starting, I am informed - "When you get here". I load up the nephew and head over. When I arrive I find that my step-dad's not prepared for what lies before him, the digging is bothering his back and he can't kneel, because of old knees injuries exacerbated by his weight. So that leaves me to dig and his 81-year-old mom to bury the bushes. I am a bit surprised and in my head, I am freaked at the idea of digging all day, "Can I even do this?"


Meanwhile my Mom is trying to "help", which mainly involves me yelling at her to stop because she's going to tear her sutures. Ever the organizer, I know I need reinforcements and I whip out the cell phone. My brothers and soon to be sister-in-law are at 9-5 jobs. That leaves my trusty and EVER patient roomie, with the flexible job.

I call her and query, "Are you in the middle of anything Earth shattering?"
Her - "Why?" So suspicious.
Me - "Well..." I give her the lowdown.
Her - "I have to..." She went into a laundry list of things she needed to do for work and she still hadn't eaten.
Me - "So..."
Her - "I can be there in about an hour."

See, patient and a saint.

So, having dug places for and planted the first ten bushes, along the front, I take my now melting down nephew inside for food. (Men in my family should always keep their blood sugar up, it's a fact.) We will now eat and wait for Lori.

Ninety minutes later, (and yes I thought about calling to inquire as to where she was, but I didn't want to die) Lori arrived. She is like me, we met in politics, she wants to have a plan and tends to take charge. As we faced having to plant 26 more bushes in the backyard, she wanted to dig too.

Problem, only one shovel and by god, it's mine. So she decides to grab the large spade and take a swing.

Problem, the location where we are digging has been landscaped on three separate occasions in the 16 years my folks have lived there. There are layers of gravel, landscaping cloth and mulch to be dug through. After attempting to dig one hole Lori accepts that I will be shoveling.

Now, mind you, I have no idea why I wanted to be the one doing the physical part. Frankly, it's not like me. But something got into me today and I was empowered. The more I had to stand on the shovel to cut through the seemingly endless crap before me, the more I twisted and sweated and dug in, the more I wanted to do. It was this weird physical and mental challenge that had been thrust upon me. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I met it head on, no blinking.

So, I did it. I dug 34 holes today. They were 1.5 feet wide, 1.5 feet deep and round. And I didn't bitch, I just did it. I wasn't even in pain at the time. I know I am definitely going to feel it tomorrow, because I am a realist.

Right now though, I am feeling pretty great. I even enjoyed it a little. Don't ask, I have no idea.

So, here's to doing something you would never believe too.

Best always, Ms_H
Weight - 185 pounds (Yes, I only lost 1 pound this week and I wasn't even bad. Hopefully next week 2.)