Me Time

This morning, after a long week, I slept in. I ate breakfast and vegged on the couch. I ran errands.

Now I am sitting here getting a pedicure. I get mine at Cali Nails in West Glen Town Center. They are very reasoanbly priced and hyper vigilente in cleanliness. They are friendly and do a really nice job.

Anyway, she is currently massaging my feet and calves, I always feel so decadent. If I could have one of these a week, I might be willing to give up cookies. (And my thighs would thank me.)

When I am done here though, it's back to reality as I head home to meet up with Gordon to do some yard work. Oh well, that's good for me too. :)

Yours in health, Kate

Walking back to move ahead

A friend at work today asked me if I was going to restart the walking club I headed the last couple of summers. To be honest, I hadn't thought about it. However, it's the perfect excuse to get moving again.

I didn't walk today because I am still sore from this weekend. Tomorrow night when I get home I will go for a walk before I settle in for the night.

I am going to send out an e-mail tomorrow to see who at work wants to walk. And I am going to restart the club next month. (Next week.)

Speaking of which, I can't believe it will soon be September. The year has flown. My birthday is next month. That is a bit, unsettling. I am inching closer to 40, not that that is bad, it just has my attention. :)

Yours in change, Kate

Quickly

A long day. Just realized I didn't post.

Went to physical therapy this morning, I was told I could start walking a little. Yesterday I walked too much at the fair. Everything on my lower body ached horribly. I easily walked at least 3 miles. I was sore, but not too bad today. Anyway, I can walk up to a mile a day and then work my way up over the next few weeks. So definitely improving.

I am going to work out goals this week. Once I have them in writing, it will be easier to visualize and therefore accomplish.

BTW - I apologize if there are errors in this, I am writing on my phone and it's hard to edit.

Well, I'm tired.

Good night, Kate

Iowa State Fair

I am going tonight for a few hours.  We will eat junk - I know that.  That is a requirement of going to the fair.  Everything must be fried and/or fat and/or horribly bad for you.

But, to quote Scarlet O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day".  In fact, that is exactly how I planned it.  Over the last few days, I have made a change here, a change there.  I am reviewing old food logs and blog entries.  I am back to reading fitness magazines.  I have made a commitment to do a 5K in the spring and a 10K next fall.  I am committed to running by the time I reach Disney World.

None of this will be possible without real change.  Today I went to Target and picked up healthier snacks.  I plan to get back to only snacking on fruit whole grains and lean protein.  But realistically, I need to ween myself off sugar.  So, a granola bar here, 100 calorie cookie pack there and I am still better off than diving face first in the vending machine.  A place my friend Karess says she wants, "Chips with fat, why bother if you're not gonna be bad."  LOL.  Indeed.

Anyway, Lori is headed home and then we are off to the fair.  What a better way to end the year of the binge than at a place that originated it?

Yours in positive change, Kate

Power of Positive Speak

Long ago I had someone tell me that I needed to speak positively to myself to reap positive results.  I gave it a try, but somehow it felt terribly unnatural being my own biggest cheerleader.  However, as the good results began to outweigh the bad, I was positive.  I smiled more.  I gave more compliments.  I found myself chiding others for not being the same way.  (The latter may have lead to some of the criticism my family put on me about 'having changed'.)

As my willfulness began to unravel after my first knee injury, I began to forget this important lesson.  I read through the months after the beginning of the year and realize I was slowly losing myself in hate talk.

Now I must go back to the original lesson, find its essence and embrace it, because willingness without belief is defeat waiting to happen. 

No one can undo my hard work.  Except me.  And a bad attitude. :)

Yours in change, Kate

My Own Silence is Deafening

I am about to be really honest. The bonus is, I haven't blogged in so long, there will be no one here to read it. :o)

I have expanded many things in the last few months - my vocabulary, my knowledge-base, my number of friends, my waistline.

As for the latter, it's been a combo-effect. I was already on a shame spiral that was being fed (literally) by my mental health. Then there was my wonderful knee I had been told to stay off.

Well, in May, I decided I wasn't going to wait around anymore for the knee to magical heal as the quack of an ortho had promised. It felt somewhat better and I am tough, I can play with pain. So I joined the group volleyball team. A game and a half into our three game match I felt a tear and pop. I knew exactly what had happened.

That little tear in my meniscus that the orthopedist had assured me shouldn't hurt and wouldn't tear, had torn. I played the rest of the match. (Carefully. I mean we only had three women.) The next day I sought out my doc for pain pills and a sports specialist for the injury.

I should have gone to a sports guy to begin with, but I made the mistake of taking the recommendation given to me. For everyone, if you are active and you are injured, go to a sports doc. My first visit I made it clear I wanted to be running again in six months, he agreed I could if I was willing to do the work.

Well, I am now almost seven weeks post-op and I am on track to be walking for exercise in the next three or four weeks. My goal is to be able to once again easily run a mile straight by the time we go on vacation to Disney World in December - I hear it's beautiful to run there in the morning before the parks open.

Regarding the surgery, I had a partial meniscectomy. They went in and cut away the torn part of the cartilage. I have been doing physical therapy, because I ended up with range-of-motion and scar tissue issues. But I am making progress I am happy with. I also found a physical therapist who specializes in sports injuries. That's me thinking, huh? :)

That's one thing that has amazingly come back in all of this - my sense of humor. While I am still pissed the other guy was a quack. (Because if he had made the repair then, I could be running by now.) That's life.

Yes, he made me sedentary, but he didn't make me eat. No one did, just two-fisted little me. What's the damage? After getting all the way down to 149 (from 260) then bouncing to 160 and maintaining it, I have ballooned to 242. Jeez, that was ugly-hard to write. But it is necessary to be completely honest if I am going to do this again.

I have learned a lot of lessons good and bad in this process. Now, it's a matter of putting those lessons into action - again. I said a number of times in my journey that I would never go back and no one could make me. I forgot - I could make me.

I bought new running shoes, am having Lori bring the hand weights up from the basement and calling my dad about the bike-holder. I'm coming back baby - watch out. ;)

Yours in positive change, Kate

PS - Here's a pic of today, to be doubly honest.