My Own Silence is Deafening

I am about to be really honest. The bonus is, I haven't blogged in so long, there will be no one here to read it. :o)

I have expanded many things in the last few months - my vocabulary, my knowledge-base, my number of friends, my waistline.

As for the latter, it's been a combo-effect. I was already on a shame spiral that was being fed (literally) by my mental health. Then there was my wonderful knee I had been told to stay off.

Well, in May, I decided I wasn't going to wait around anymore for the knee to magical heal as the quack of an ortho had promised. It felt somewhat better and I am tough, I can play with pain. So I joined the group volleyball team. A game and a half into our three game match I felt a tear and pop. I knew exactly what had happened.

That little tear in my meniscus that the orthopedist had assured me shouldn't hurt and wouldn't tear, had torn. I played the rest of the match. (Carefully. I mean we only had three women.) The next day I sought out my doc for pain pills and a sports specialist for the injury.

I should have gone to a sports guy to begin with, but I made the mistake of taking the recommendation given to me. For everyone, if you are active and you are injured, go to a sports doc. My first visit I made it clear I wanted to be running again in six months, he agreed I could if I was willing to do the work.

Well, I am now almost seven weeks post-op and I am on track to be walking for exercise in the next three or four weeks. My goal is to be able to once again easily run a mile straight by the time we go on vacation to Disney World in December - I hear it's beautiful to run there in the morning before the parks open.

Regarding the surgery, I had a partial meniscectomy. They went in and cut away the torn part of the cartilage. I have been doing physical therapy, because I ended up with range-of-motion and scar tissue issues. But I am making progress I am happy with. I also found a physical therapist who specializes in sports injuries. That's me thinking, huh? :)

That's one thing that has amazingly come back in all of this - my sense of humor. While I am still pissed the other guy was a quack. (Because if he had made the repair then, I could be running by now.) That's life.

Yes, he made me sedentary, but he didn't make me eat. No one did, just two-fisted little me. What's the damage? After getting all the way down to 149 (from 260) then bouncing to 160 and maintaining it, I have ballooned to 242. Jeez, that was ugly-hard to write. But it is necessary to be completely honest if I am going to do this again.

I have learned a lot of lessons good and bad in this process. Now, it's a matter of putting those lessons into action - again. I said a number of times in my journey that I would never go back and no one could make me. I forgot - I could make me.

I bought new running shoes, am having Lori bring the hand weights up from the basement and calling my dad about the bike-holder. I'm coming back baby - watch out. ;)

Yours in positive change, Kate

PS - Here's a pic of today, to be doubly honest.