"I must have shrunk my pants in the dryer"

LOL. I used to use that line all of the time before I started losing weight. Never mind that the only thing that was shrinking was my supply of sugared treats. This last week I put on one of my workout tank tops and it hugged my middle showing every roll of extra skin and what's that? FAT!

I stepped on the scale and paid attention for the first time in a while. I had been watching it creep up, but the number awaiting me was a call to action - 163. That's what I weighed Sunday morning. That is not o.k. I would loved to have lied to myself and blamed the dryer or 'putting on muscle', but really, where would that get me?

Instead I walked in the kitchen and made a peanut butter/chocolate pound cake. What?! It was for my Mom's birthday, it was actually Tuesday, but we were celebrating it as part of our usual Sunday get-together. It was decadent and damn tasty and it was my last sugar for the sake of sugar moment until my birthday next month.

After realizing I had put on 11 pounds over the 152 I had been maintaining and 15 pounds over my lowest weight, I was disgusted with myself. And before anyone tells me not to be hard on myself, realize this - I know what got me to 260 pounds and I was doing it again. I was eating too much AND to much sugar and fat.

When trainer Traci and I talked about the eating thing on Tuesday she said, "You have to get back to eating healthy foods." I moped with shame and admitted, "I have been eating healthy, I've just been eating junk on top of it. So all of the calories of the fruits veggies, whole grains and lean proteins get combined with the calories of the junk. It means I am simply overeating."

Those words are hard for me to write, but they confirm something I have said all along - I am recovering from obesity, there is no cure. Like alcoholics I sometimes crave a pill that would truly help me stay healthy, but I know it's not really about the food - it's about the behaviour surrounding the food.

The past few months I had become a 'secret eater' again. Fat filled crap doesn't count if you eat it in the car where no one can see you, right? You can have the three cookies if you eat your carrots. If people in the office don't see me down that second piece of birthday cake, they'll still respect me. You see, it's a sickness. It's an addiction.

You find yourself bargaining your way into that bag of 100 calorie chips, it's only 100 calories. But when you add into that the handful of M&Ms you had and the cookie you will have and the treat from Starbuck's that's standing in as your 'second breakfast' and the protein shake you 'should have' after your workout and the two servings of the entree and... And I think you get the point, gluttony is realized.

The other thing I really impress upon people is that being healthy is a lifestyle change. You can't just do it for a while and then go back to what you were doing - that's a diet and diets don't work. No, you have to maintain your healthier habits for life. Yes, you can have sweets once in a while - but it truly has to be rare and controlled. Half the cake when nobody is looking is still half a cake.

So I really was, until a couple of months ago, shrinking my clothes in the dryer. My pants size was between 10 and 12 and I need them snugger. Well, check that off my list, they are definitely snugger. Now, I have to shrink me back into them and I will.

On Monday I cut my calories to about 1,400 a day. The current plan is:

Breakfast: small bowl of high-protein/fiber cereal w/ skim milk
Coffee: skim milk, drizzle of cream, Splenda
Morning snacks: Several small portions of fruit to keep my blood sugar up, if it drops too far, I will be starving at my next meal and prone to over eat
Lunch: Yogurt, fruit, carrots
Afternoon snack: Something high protein and fruit
Dinner: big salad, big bunch of veggies, reasonable entree
Dessert: strawberries with teaspoon+ of vanilla sugar.

I have been lacking energy lately, but by mid-afternoon yesterday my energy was picking back up. Just three days in and I am seeing results in how I feel and I have lost 2 pounds. Amazing what happens when you do what you are supposed to do.

But this time, when I get back down to 148, I am not going to let myself plateau. This time I am going to take my body fat to where I want it to be and then I can look at maintenance. No more of this standing on the edge of the shore, dangling a toe crap, it's time to dive in and finish the race.

Yours in health, Kate

You Can Walk it Off - uh, no

"You can eat anything you want at the Iowa State Fair, because you walk it off."

I can't really spell the kind of laughing this incites from me. That is one of the most hilarious statements ever! No you CAN'T!

For example - One corn dog (by far the most popular fair food)
460 calories, 20 grams of fat

Now, the walking. Everyone always thinks they walk much further at the fair than than they really do. None-the-less, I will be generous here:

Walk 6 miles at 2.5 miles an hour = 491 calories burned

The problem is, even if you really walk that far, you aren't maintaining that pace really. You are stopping and starting. Plus, most people walk about 2 miles an hour when they don't have anywhere specific to be.

Anyway, as you can see, you could burn off a corn dog. (We'll ignore the artery causing fat, far too much of it saturated.) Did you slug the dog down with a soda? How about a beer? Split a funnel cake? Grab the mini-cookies? The list goes on and on.

What I am getting at is, don't delude yourself whether it's the fair or another 'off' occasion. You are going to have fun, not count calories. Because if you went to do the latter, you would be shocked into possibly never going to a big, fun event again.

The key with the Iowa State Fair is the same as with your overall eating habits - everything in moderation. If you can remember that, you will win by not waking the next day with a food hangover.

FYI - If you are looking to take the fair on in a slightly healthier manner, the Iowa Heart Center has an article on food alternatives that are a bit healthier - HERE.

Above all - have fun and remember, it's only once a year. (Thank god, because that fried Twinkie gets me every flippin' time!)



Yours in health, Kate

Crap! Did I accidentally get a life?

Nope and yes. I have actually kind of created one and become poor at time management simultaneously.

I was looking back and I haven't blogged since Wednesday. I have intended to. Even thought I had at some point over the weekend, but alas, no. Sorry about that.

Thursday I worked, took a nap, worked out, went back to bed. A long week had me wondering if I was getting sick, so I did a little taking care of me, unusual, but effective. I was ready to go on Friday.

Friday - work, workout, clean out car, create toga, go to toga party. Yep, you read that right - I went to the Art Noir toga party at the Des Moines Art Center. It was fun and my date, Bret, was not only very hot in his toga, but game for the whole experience, which made him sexy as hell.

Astoundingly going was my idea. Two years ago me in a piece of barely there cloth in public would NEVER have happened. Not in the privacy of someone's home and sure as hell not out in public! Despite my hard work, I was still nervous as I stepped my sandaled feet into the hall, but I got over it and had a great time.

Saturday - I had slept like crap because I forgot my sleeping pill, so coffee and I were close. It was rainy, but I was interested in watching Bret play soccer, so I threw on jeans and headed to Indianola. He's pretty good for a guy who says he really didn't know about soccer until a couple of years ago. We parted ways and I went to work. Then I went home and crashed. I had taken my workout clothes with great intentions of hitting the gym, but my lack of sleep hung like a wool trench coat in August, so I reconsidered and hit the hay.

It was a good thing because my suggestion of renting a movie and doing dinner at Bret's house was optioned. We watched "Bourne Supremacy" and had a healthy dinner. Somehow, for the second time, forgetting to eat the not-so-healthy popcorn I had brought along.

Sunday - I slept in for the first time in I have no idea how long, it felt great. Then I went to my mom's and went for a quick walk and did some core work. Then we had dinner and that's where I spiraled out of control. I literally made my self ill. Mom made this really healthy dinner and I ate too much of the rice. Then I followed that with WAY too much of the not-at-all healthy dessert she made.

I was, in fact, so ill I couldn't go to meet my dad at a movie for his birthday. Instead I went home and tried to settle my stomach and crawled into bed at 4:45. Sadly, almost two years in, I am still capable of a binge. Admittedly it doesn't take as much now, but it's still sick and pathetic that I can overdo it like that.

Speaking of which, my two year anniversary in the start of this journey is Friday. It will have been 731 days since I started making changes that have added up to big successes. Tomorrow I will begin the countdown to that day, looking back and then finally Friday, looking forward.

Yours in health, Kate

Food Hangover - Part Duh

I seem to remember, after indulging at Thanksgiving, swearing to hold myself accountable and not do it again. Well, I've said it more times than I can count - I am a food addict. And yesterday I slipped.

It wasn't the meal that did me in, no, I ate a small sandwich with just turkey on whole wheat, some roasted sweet potatoes, some steamed broccoli and carrots and a dollop of cheesy potatoes. No the meal was fine.

The endless "tastes" of sugary treats afterward, extremely not fine. By the time everything was said and done I had easily eaten two cookies, a piece of fudge, a bar of some kind (maybe two, I was starting to have an eating blackout - o.k., not really, but it's quite the visual isn't it?) and a piece of my mom's magnificent chocolate cake left over from Sunday.

Yep, it was old school Kate. No stopping. The thinner me was being held in a small closet inside while the evil "Luci" (my inner demon) was running amok and even eating peppermint kisses! (Not a big fan of peppermint.)

So today, I feel like 'normal' people do when they've tied one on with a bottle of Jack Daniels or a 12 pack of Leinie's. I've been nauseous most of the day and if I even look at anything sweet, I get a little erpy.

I swear, if I don't learn my lesson after this one, well... I guess I will have to stop regarding myself as "A relatively intelligent woman", because I will have proven my inane mediocrity.

In the meantime, it's been all healthy today. But I expect it to be days before I completely 'detox'. I am due to interview Senator Fred Thompson tomorrow in Osceola at a town hall. I hope none of his supporters bring cookies - sorry Fred.

Yours in ugh, erp, health, Kate