Saturday, January 3, 2009

Old Junk and New Resolve

Yesterday it looked like Donutland and a candy store exploded on the break room table. I gave in to all of my worst urges and ate plenty of it. However, it was with full knowledge that tomorrow is H-Day - Health Day.

It's back to best practices - 1. Eat better. 2. Exercise. 3. Think positively.

The breakdown:

1. I will have Lori's support and with the whole family doing the Biggest Loser contest, I will have help there too. Plus, I have been pretty public with this contest at work - I am hoping people will call me on it if they see me grazing at that evil back table.

2. I am going to start back up slowly at home. Once I have committed and done it on my own for a couple of weeks, I am going back to the gym. I am also adding trainer Traci back into the mix. With my knee being the way it is, I am struggling with what to do. I know swimming is an option, but it is also a pain in the butt. I tried getting a cap to keep my hair dry, but it doesn't work. I will just have to suck it up at some point or just swim on weekends when I have more time to get cleaned up. Another big problem I face there is I have grown out of my swim suit, so that may wait.

If anyone has cardio ideas that don't involve using my knee or getting wet, let me know.

3. This is the one I struggled with, even when I was in full-on healthy mode. Once you have been obese, you always feel like the fat girl. When you stagnate in the weight loss process, you beat yourself up. If you falter and overeat or, in my case, binge - you mentally tailspin. When I got near my goal weight, that finally slowed. But as my weight has skyrocketed, the mean words have come streaming back in.

I need to return the phrases - "I can do this", "That's great", "Wow" and "Good for me" to my arsenal of self-talk. It's funny, in every other area of my life I brag of being stubborn. I can make people crazy at times as I attempt things because I can. I have recently taken to reassuring family and friends that even if I have cancer, "I am too stubborn to go anywhere" - as in, I have no intention of dying.

I should be just as stubborn in this effort. Because obesity is just as life threatening as cancer, it just takes longer to kill you.

So, here goes. I will do this. I will be stubborn. I will win. I am resolved.

Resolutely yours, Kate

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