Friday, November 30, 2007

Traci's Tips - 11/30/07

After I let her take a week off for family and Thanksgiving last week... ;) Trainer Traci is back with tips this week:

1. Stretching is very important for making your body more limber and less sore. Be sure to add in a stretching routine to your regular workout.

2. For beginners - starting a walking routine can help reduce blood pressure, cholesterol, increase cardiovascular endureance, bone strength and burn calories to keep weight down.

3. Try cutting 100-200 calories out of your diet everyday for a year and you will lose 10-20 lbs without working out. Now just think if you were working out 5 times a week how much quicker you would see those results!

4. When doing your resistance training be sure to have "proud Posture" in other words don't slouch! Keep your shoulders back and down and stick out that chest a little!

5. Exercises of the week: 4 x 15
Squats/Leg Press

Thanks Traci!

Yours in fitness, Kate

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Why I love Fitness World West

Fitness World West.

The reasons I love my gym (in no particular order):

- Trainer Traci (o.k., that is #1)

- It's a gym that will meet any fitness need. There are people just starting out, elderly folks going through therapy, people like me who are fit and trying to get even more so and really fit people all the way up to competitors in Iron Man and Ultimate Fighting.

- People are there to get fit. There are gym friends and nice conversations, but it's not a pick-up joint full of people that are there to "look good". People are there to workout.

- It's very modern and "old school" at the same time. The machines are modern, so much so most of the cardio machines have LCD TVs! All the basic cable channels at your fingertips while you run, bike or do elliptical. "Old school" because there are plenty of free weights down stairs and a pool if you are just looking to swim.
- It's always clean. I know this may seem basic, but if I could number the gyms I have been in where you felt afraid to touch things, you'd know how important it is. Besides, the other members get it and always wipe down the equipment when they are done.

- The other trainers willingly give you a bit of advice if yours is not around. That's another gripe I have had about gyms before, the trainers always held themselves above everyone else. They didn't even want to make eye contact without charging you for 30 seconds of their time.

- In fact, all of the staff is great. From the moment you walk in you feel welcome and everyone says "Hi". But, if you don't want to converse beyond that, they don't press, they just let you do your thing.

- I feel comfortable. I never feel like any of the members or staff are staring or judging when I workout. Everyone is clear that there are different levels for everyone. And everything has to be tried for the first time once.

- It's fun. I have tried a few classes and the instructors keep it fun, even if you have never been there before. They are patient and teach, not condescend.

- It's easy access. Right off I-235 on Westown Parkway, right across from Valley West Mall.

There are other reasons too, but I think you get the point. No matter where you are in getting healthy, whether at losing pound one or trying to cut your 10K time, you really should consider joining me at Fitness World West.

They even have a one week FREE trial offer to see if it fits your fitness style.

Hope to see you at the gym!

Yours in Fitness, Kate

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I'm tired

It's 3 p.m. and I haven't made it to the gym yet. On Monday and Wednesday that is not completely unusual because that is when I meet with Traci. I try to be there a half hour early on those days to get in cardio, but often I get stuck where I am sitting now - in my office chair.

O.k., I just stood up, done with sitting today.

I spent half the day on the phone and didn't get nearly what I wanted accomplished. Now I am tired.

By all rights, since I have been obsessively working out 7 days a week. (Please kids, don't try this at home.) I could just head home, take a load off and enjoy being tired.

And yet, I am going to walk out the door as soon as this is posted and direct my car to Fitness World West. Why am I so motivated? Results baby! That's exactly what I am getting and I love it!

Ooh, I think I just cheerleaded (not a word) myself into having energy. Boom-shaka-laka!

Yours in fitness, Kate

Monday, November 26, 2007

Dating Dysfunction

When I was bigger I was hiding. Hiding from myself, but mainly hiding from men. You see, if I was big, no one could possibly be attracted to me. (Or so I believed and I was mostly right.) I was hit on here and there, but always because the guys thought I would be desperate because I was fat.

I proved them wrong by sending them packing with some scathing or frigid comment. I made it clear I had no time for games. That falseness on the part of men and a bad relationship or two, soured me on the opposite sex. Frankly, I swore them off.

In recent months my interest in guys has returned. During this rediscovery I have also found a truth that I did not expect: I did not hate men, I hated what I let them do to me - emotionally and psychologically. So now, on the other side of the weight and the mental anguish of being used and always left, I am ready to try again.

The funny thing is, I think I have forgotten how to ride the bike. I think my flirt is broken. I just can't figure out how to get the train to move from the station. (Somebody get me a cliche thesaurus.)

You see, not to sound conceited, I look better than I ever have. Don't get me wrong, I don't consider myself super model material, but I think I look pretty good and am getting better by the day. And yet, nothing.

I can get guys to flirt, but no date requests have come in. I even caved and asked a guy out, he said yes, he'd check his schedule and get back to me. He never called back. I can't believe I shared that. But I feel like I need to be completely honest with you each step of my journey toward health and fitness.

So, there it is. I feel like I am the Gobi desert with a map and broken compass. I know which way the sun rises, but beyond that I am a little lost.

Funny, I'm not sure what I was expecting after writing all that. I think I was hoping for an epiphany. The only thing that I have concluded is that perhaps I am impatient. Did I really think just because I have changed the world would be ready? Or more specifically the men?

I would keep pondering, but if I don't end this now, I think I may pass into the realm of pathetically needy.

Yours in (mental) health, Kate

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Always time to workout

It was a very busy Sunday, even without going to my mom's for dinner. I ran errands, cleaned, did favors and yes, worked out.

For an hour and 15 minutes today it was just about me. I put on the ear phones for my Creative Zen and hit Fitness World West. I stretched, ran, did crunches, traversed stairs, did some Pilate's moves and stretched. It was wonderful. When I have time, this is how I like to do it.

Now, my five minutes of me time on the computer is over. Time to fix dinner. It's low-fat calzones and I am pumped.

Yours in fitness, Kate

Saturday, November 24, 2007


I went to workout with Traci the trainer last night at Fitness World West. I was fully recovered by then from my gluttony, so it was time to move onward.

I hit the cardio hard before I met up with her and then we killed on weights. She says my triceps are really starting to pop when I am pumping. I have yet to see them in a mirror at the right time, but I know she's not me.

I really love working out. A lot of days when I get to the gym, I have been up and going for 12 hours, so I am dragging a bit. I never fail to walk out feeling better. The days I work with Traci I not only leave with more energy, but feeling empowered.

When I started with her 3 months ago I was pretty fit. But doing 10 sit-ups or 5 push-ups about put me under. Yesterday I did 3 sets of 15 full sit-ups, to each side, with twist. Today I did 2 sets of 10 push-ups (in the manly way).

Never mind the 180-270 crunches per session she has me do. Plus now, on my own, I put crunches between bouts of cardio. Traci pushes me hard and now that I am so much more fit, I push me hard too. It's awesome!

I can't thank Traci enough. She works hard for me three times a week. From preparing my workout to trying out new moves to make sure they work to putting me through my paces, she's there and I am grateful.

Yours in Fitness, Kate

Friday, November 23, 2007

Food Hangover

Remember all that great advice I gave? Well, I followed it right through dinner yesterday. Then, like a wall, I slammed right into dessert. But still, I was good, I only had a tablespoon full of each - there were 5.

Paging the hypocrite... Oh wait, here I am.

I took in about 2,200 calories yesterday and about 45 grams of fat. My body rebelled and I ended up sick last night. My body said no. Good for my body, bad for me.

This will not happen at Christmas. Not because I am some saint, but because I do not want to feel like this again.

Yours in health? Kate

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

May you make reasonable choices and only "cheat" a little. Mostly you should savor your family. Enjoy!

Yours in health, Kate

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Frackin' Snow

I have had to run around updating things in the building for snow. Live radio baby! So I am not able to blog right now, appropriately enough because I am due at the gym soon.

Yours in Fitness, Kate

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The First Holiday of the Season

O.K., for those that do not subscribe to the Better Homes and Gardens philosophy that there are actually 100 days of holidays - which start in anticipation of Halloween - Thursday is a day you are staring at with dread.


It's the one holiday each year, that in theory, every American can celebrate together because their is no one race or religion tied to it. It's simply a chance to be grateful for all you have - family, friends, shelter, food. The last one is where the hang-up starts. Americans on this day, more than any other, feel that they can indulge.

"It's just this one day, just this one meal."

That's a lovely theory. But it's just this one... cookie, meal, day, week... (ad nausea) that put my butt at 260 pounds. I had the brilliant ability to be able to justify anything - for one moment - and that's all it takes. It's takes just a second to knock down that oversize fudge brownie (hey, I didn't cut it), third helping of mashed potatoes (well, there was just a little left, why waste them?) or decide not to take that walk (it's a holiday, everyone deserves a break).

Meanwhile, take it from me, once you stop justifying, it takes a heck of a lot longer to get rid of the just ones.

So remember a national holiday is just like every other day. You treat yourself on other days, but you don't go overboard. So instead of taking a holiday from sense too, know this - every day is just one day.

O.K., off my apple box and off to Fitness World West. One day at a time.

Yours in health, Kate

Monday, November 19, 2007

Will Power

Ran into an old aquaintance the other day, she was surprised by my weight loss. She said, "I didn't think you would have the will power."

LOL. I respect her honesty. But I had to correct her and congratulate her on being right. She's right, I really don't have willpower. But she is wrong that it takes will power, it doesn't. The concept of will power to me is in the same league with faeries, it would be lovely if the magical creatures existed, but chances are they don't.

In fact, I don't believe in will power, I believe in self-respect.

Self-respect is - I want that fudge brownie, but I respect my body more than to eat it. Self-respect is - I really don't want to go to the gym, but I am going because I know I need to. Self-respect is - not putting yourself in a situation where you know you traditionally fail, without a plan. Example: Going to your favorite pizza place with your friends, without thinking through which salad you will get to go with that one piece of pizza that you will enjoy. (Pizza from your favorite joint probably has 300-500 calories and 10-18g of fat per slice, just FYI.)

So whenever I am about to fall off the wagon and dive into old behaviour, I remind myself about self-respect. Or, you can call it self-love, either way it's about you and not about what has been put before you as a challenge.

Yours in health, Kate

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Another Step

I know it has been months since I have posted here. I have been posting on another blog that I have created for work and my gym.

You should check it out. It's different. It's very user friendly and goes heavy on fitness.

People ask me all of the time how I have lost so much weight - I eat right and exercise. And while I firmly believe no one plan works for the same for anyone else - combining those two things - in whatever form, does work for everyone.

So, I hope you enjoy that blog as well. I will still post here on occassion, because the more personal stuff needs an outlet too.

Best Always, Ms_H
Weight - 153 pounds

"Don't you think you should stop now?"

Yesterday I put in a killer hour and a half at Fitness World West, it was awesome! I love it when I am able to put in the ultra effort without Trainer Traci along for the ride, I always feel empowered. Though I certainly wouldn't give up my time with her for anything.

I went out with Lori and Linda last night. We went to dinner at Raccoon River and then next door to Little Big Fest at the Hotel Fort Des Moines. It was a American roots rock event. We only went to see one band, Jim the Mule. (I've mentioned them before, they are very, very good.)

After the show we went to Zanzibar's and on the way there Linda asked me if I was done losing weight. I said "no", I have a ways to go. She seemed concerned. I assured her, I still weigh 153 pounds at 5' 4", I still have fat to lose and more muscle to put on. While I may appear to be skinny to her, (and to a number of others who have expressed concern) I am not.

I am losing weight healthfully and slowly, the only way to do it and keep it off. I still have at least 25 pounds of fat to take off. That being said, once it is off and the muscle is on, I may end up back at the weight I sit at now. And that's o.k., it's not about what I weigh, it's how I feel and how my clothes fit.

So, no, I don't think I should stop now. But I will stop trying to lose at some point and then I will go down the road I fear the most - Maintenance. That's the place I will be the rest of my life and I am looking forward to building a lovely house to grown old in there.

Yours in fitness, Kate

Friday, November 16, 2007

Traci's weekly Tips for bettering your body:

1. Tired of running, try the elliptical for 20-30 min instead. You'll get a great workout w/o the impact.

2. Do cardio 30 min plus 3 times a week do start.

3. Change up your routine to keep your body guessing.

4. Eat lots of veggies! Take some to snack on throughout the day.

5. Exercise of the week: Dumbbell Row
Lat Pull
4 x 15 with your reg routine

Find Traci Here.

I'm headed to Fitness World West to see her myself.

Yours in fitness, Kate

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Kate Monster

Went to "Avenue Q" last night at the Civic Center. It was one of the funniest (and naughtiest - two words, I coined this myself - "puppet sutra".) things I have seen in a long time. There is a character named "Kate Monster" who bears a bit of a resemblence to me. It is now my new nickname at work because half of the building was there as well.

None of them realize the part that really hits home, about struggling to find a guy to date. (But that's a full-on blog at a later date.)

Before the show, I ran into one of my best girlfriends who I haven't seen in months. We're both apparently very busy. :) It was wonderful to see her, but at first she didn't recognize me and that was even more wonderful.

Linda and I have known each other for ten years, so I didn't think twice about walking up and putting my arm around her. She looked over, startled and just stared. I smiled thinking I was just surprising her by being there. She told me the truth was, she was trying to place my face! That was a surreal moment. One of my dearest friends had to take a long beat for me to be familiar, I never saw that coming.

I was one happy monster.

Yours in health, Kate

Sunday, November 11, 2007

My New Shoes

Here they are.

I have been running in a pair of Brooks the last 7 months, it was time for a change and these are lighter. I ran on the treadmill in them this morning. I was running short on time, so it was only a mile. They felt o.k. I am going to do a longer run tomorrow to see if I can work the kinks out. If by Tuesday, on my third run in them, they haven't smoothed out, I will have to return them. But, as long as I don't wear them on the street, Fitness Sports has a reasonable return policy.

I really want them to work, because they feel great when I am just walking around and they are actually a decent color for once. My last two pairs have been highlighted by bright yellow and electric green. These are purple, much better. All right, being a bit of a girl there. But when I can combine being a girl and being an athlete, it's nice.

Yours in fitness, Kate

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Shoes and bras

I would love to be more creative with the title of my blog post, but well, that's what today has been all about. It's Saturday and I am running around trying to catch up on two weeks worth of errands I have put off.

This morning it was running and pilates. Then on to shopping with my mom. We did serious damage at Jordan Creek Town Center and I got her intrigued by the idea of Rockin' Shoppin' Eve. (Shopping the day after Thanksgiving starting at 12:01 a.m. see HERE for more.)

Two things were bought to reward myself for my continued diligence in working out and losing weight. Two pounds this week, bringing my total to 107. I purchased a couple of pairs of beautiful and cool shoes for work. They were on mega sale - half price! And I snagged a new sports bra.

The later I needs to take a moment to encourage you to do as well. Until I started running, I wore a cheap, seemingly solid sports bra from a discount chain. The first time I ran, I nearly knocked myself out - the "girls" were everywhere. The funny thing is, once upon a time, that would have stopped me from trying again. Instead I invested in myself and bought a heavy duty, for the well endowed sports bra. It made it possible to run comfortably. But it also did something else.

A few days after I bought it I read an article on why women need good sports bras - sagging and stretch marks. That's what is caused by not having enough support when you are doing jarring exercise. Now, if yoga is your thing, wear whatever is comfortable. But if you are walking hard, running, on the elliptical or an endless number of other cardio options, smush those girls against you to skip undo damage.

The other thing I need today is my overdue reward for the 5K - my new running shoes. So, that's where I am running now, Fitness Sports.

Yours in fitness, Kate

Traci's Tips - 11/9/07

Well, I early this morning my abs finally got sore from Traci's workout the other day. Today she killed my abs again and grinned all the way through it AGAIN. She's lucky I like her and think she is brilliant, because I wouldn't take joy like that from just anyone. ;)

Here's Traci's weekly column to help you do it on your own:

1. Biking is great to work the legs and get a good cardio burn without the impact on your knees and ankles.

2. Don't go hungry before a workout. Be sure to eat something for your body to burn. Good foods before working out are generally protein and carbs.

3. Go for Green Tea instead of Coffee. Less caffeine, plus antioxidants.

4. Limit your fat intake and take supplements to aid in getting vitamins your body needs!

5. Exercise of the week:
Bicep dumbbell curls standing on 1 leg
Tricep Kickbacks
4 sets of 15 with your regular routine.

Thanks Traci!

Well, I am going to bed now, so I can get up and be ready for pilates tomorrow at Fitness World West.

Yours in fitness, Kate

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Food for Thought

Ewww. I just read this article. It is an in depth reminder of how far I have come. As well as, how far away from health our country, especially our children, has gone.

Daily I learn more about what is in food. The more I learn, the less I want to know.

Knowing now what I put in my body well, frankly, it makes me queasy. For example, one of my all time favorite meals was the #3 Extra Value Meal at McDonald's - Quarter pounder with cheese, large fry, medium drink. I would eat this one or two times a week minimum 'back in the day'. (Why am I not dead?)

The breakdown:
Quarter Pounder with Cheese –
Calories – 490
Fat – 26g
Saturated fat – 12g
Trans fat – 1.5g

Large French Fry –
Calories – 570
Fat – 30g
Saturated fat – 6g
Trans fat – 8g

Medium Coke Classic –
Calories – 210

Grand Total –
Calories – 1270
Fat – 56g
Saturated fat – 18g
Trans fat – 9.5g

Well, holy cow! (Literally)

You see the average, healthy, person should take in about 2,000 calories, if they are active and no more than 65 grams of fat. I was by no means healthy or active when I was piling this in, that is just sad.

The pathetic thing, I knew. We all know. I just didn't read nutritional information then, because I didn't actually want to have to look at the truth. I was slowly killing myself.

FYI - These days I average 1400-1500 calories a day and no more than 30g fat a day. Please note: everyone is different, be sure you ask a pro for help when you are getting started.

So, I know you want to know, do I eat fast food? A couple of months ago I would have said, in a pinch with the nephew in tow, yes. What would I have? McDonald's - Fruit & Walnut salad, I would skip the yogurt and eat only half of the walnuts to keep the fat and calories down; side salad with low fat vinaigrette, using less than half of the packet. Wendy's - baked potato with sour cream and chives, no butter, a lot of carbs, if you are watching that kind of thing. (I don't, a calorie is a calorie, unless you are diabetic.)

Do I eat fast food now? No. I know too much about it and how even veggie burgers can be made bad with refined flour buns and trans fat cheese. I have tried going with friends and looking long and hard at the menu, but I just can't make it work. Instead I will just grab water and eat my nutrition bar I always take as a back-up.

I can't tell you what to eat. But I will say this, putting thought into what you put in your body is an act of self-respect. By eating better you prove that you like yourself and the better you feel and look, the more you like yourself. It's very much a circle. Just a little food for thought.

Yours in health, Kate

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Killer Abs

All right, trainer Traci is pretty proud of herself right now.

She just busted my butt, or more to the point - my abs. In fact, at the end of the workout I not only felt it, but I was questioning whether I would make it to the gym tomorrow. I haven't missed a day in over two weeks, so that is saying something.

Traci was beaming.

I WILL do cardio tomorrow, but the crunches I usually make a part of my day may have to wait until I meet back up with Traci on Friday.

Tee-hee. The thing that amuses me - I have abs to be killed - that rocks!

Yours in fitness, Kate

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Funny Me

So, I have this other blog. You can find it through my profile or here. I haven't posted there since my birthday. Frankly, I have been too busy working out. Then I started this one for the Lite website and Fitness World West and I let it go. I do hope to go at it again soon, offering the even more intimate part of losing weight, but in the mean time I have been looking back.

Some of what I posted was darn funny. Some is heart breaking. Some I don't remember and I know why, it was a place to vent and I don't necessarily want to remember. But all of it was part of the process that has brought me here.

My other blog is a great pit-stop if you are seeking what it was like earlier in my journey.

Yours in fitness, Kate

Monday, November 5, 2007

The Numbers Game

I wore size 12 jeans to see a friend's band play last night. (Jim the Mule is the band and they are VERY good.) The jeans were hand me downs from my sister-in-law who had two milestones this week - she moved into size 10 jeans and has now officially lost 100 pounds! That is so awesome, my deepest congratulations to her. (More on her blog.)

But it reminded me of the numbers game. We all play it.

Before we get healthy, it's "just one more". For me it was numbers on a scale. They whizzed by with very little effort as they went up. The final game I played on the rise was, when I stepped up to weigh-in and the number came up 248, I said, "Huh, well, when I hit 260, I will have to do something about that." Three deeply disgusting weeks of food orgies later, I hit that "magic" number. I say magic because, for some reason, that was the one.

Now mind you, I had been at 260 before, in fact I weighed the most (273) in the summer of 1996. Why, this time, that number had an effect is... well frankly, it probably didn't. I have been thinking this through more and more and I believe it was a lot of little things that added up to really making a lifestyle change this time.

As for the numbers, I still try to play sometimes, only now it's with calories. Did those nuts really have 100 calories in them? Or maybe it was just 50. Well, if I don't keep an eye on how many I eat, it's easy to lie. But that is the change, now I know, playing that numbers game is what put me at 260.

So, I try dancing around different digits now - the ones that tick away time on the treadmill or elliptical at FWW - and in this case, unlike my thighs, the more the merrier.

Yours in health, Kate

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Sunday Dinner

I went and put in another killer cardio workout this morning at Fitness World West. I ran, did the elliptical, some crunches, pilates moves and the stair climber. It was about an hour and 15 minutes. After, I felt great.

Then I went to my mother's for dinner and I felt even better. You see, I really enjoy seeing my family each week. My brothers come, my grandpa, mom, step-dad and frequently my sister-in-law, nephew and my roomie Lori. We get to catch-up, be funny and just bask in family. It's a rare chance to slow down and remember what things were like before there were 12 hour days and endless meetings.

Until recently however, going to my mom's dinners were actually a bit stressful. My mother loves to cook and shows her love through cooking and she's good at both. However, she did not like to cook healthy. Well, my step-father now has type 2 diabetes and my mother has been forced to change how she cooks.

The biggest thing was getting her to understand that healthy cooking didn't have to be boring. You can cut the fat, calories, sodium, etc and still come out with great tasting and satisfying meals. I encouraged her to pick-up cook books again and use all of the spices that she has accumulated from the spice store where Lori works part-time.

She finally took up the challenge and two weeks in a row she has rocked the house. Last week paella, this week - white chili and turkey enchiladas. Both were so good that even Gordon wanted more. You see, despite trying to get healthy, Gordon still likes to eat, so it better not taste "healthy".

It was wonderful, mom loved the challenge, everyone loved the food and I was able to eat without having to grill her on calories and ingredients.

This change is long overdue and very welcome. So thank you Mom!

Yours in health, Kate

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Workout Addiction?

This strange thing has come over me. I already love to workout. The way I feel after is undeniably wonderful. Even if sometimes while I am doing it I question my sanity.

But lately, I find myself craving the gym. I don't feel like I have had a workout at any less than an hour.

I never saw myself in this place where sweat became like breathing, a basic necessity. And weirdly I like it - a lot.

Yours in fitness, Kate

Friday, November 2, 2007

Traci's Tips - 11/3/07

It's Friday, so it's time for my trainer Traci's weekly tips:

1) When walking to exercise add some 5 lbs weights, it will help build a little muscle and give you a little bit harder workout.

2) Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. While exercising you should drink at least 20 oz of water.

3) Stretch, Stretch, Stretch! Important to stretch muscles to prevent tears and strains. Also, be sure to make it a fluid motion...don't bounce.

4) Food Journal and count your calories. This will allow you to see what you are putting in your body and maybe rethink some of those unhealthy foods.

5) Exercises of the Week:
Chest Press
Chest Flies
Do 4 sets of 15 of these with your normal routine and you will begin to feel the strength increase in your chest and arms.

Thanks Traci!

Well, I am off to Fitness World West to work with the woman herself, right now!

Yours in fitness, Kate

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Old Habits, New Habits

I have spent the last 15.5 months creating old habits, that is, letting bad tendencies go by the way side. I have also been creating new habits to make myself a stronger, healthier, more confident person.

This week I realized I have spent the last few months perpetuating an old habit. One that is emotional and has nothing to do with food or fitness, so I have been ignoring it. Two days ago I decided to face down the situation, because part of changing my body is changing my mind.

I got the answer I didn't want. That, once again, I have created a heart-breaking situation for myself by putting forth unrealistic goals. Not physical, emotional. Physical right now I could handle, my heart is just not as fit.

So, after I found my answer, I went home not knowing whether to cry or be sick. My bad habit is to verbally beat myself up, eat chocolate, crawl into bed and go to sleep. I sat fighting back tears, getting love from Charlie cat and fighting this proclivity to dive into self pity and self abuse.

The last thing I should do is curl up and just melt into the floor.
So, I didn't. Instead, for the first time in longer than I can remember, I literally picked myself up, dusted off and got back to life - a new habit.

I headed to Fitness World West. I'll be honest, my heart hurt and I was not in the mood, but I went. And when I got there, I busted my butt.

You see, above everything else, I was angry with myself for falling in to that bad habit - going down that same stupid road again.

But thankfully I put that anger into an hour of cardio, some crunches and some weights, instead of a crying jag and a night in bed.

My new habit won the day.

After the workout I felt a bit better about the situation that had precipitated the need to put the new habit into action. But I really felt good about having the new habit to fall back on in the first place.

Yours in fitness, Kate