I met with the manager at the gym again today. I didn't get a workout, but I did finally get a new plan in place.
For months I have wanted to restart, but I have been too busy to sit down and write it all out. Today I began that process. I made a new commitment to myself.
The new program will cost me more than I would like. But it will also make me completely accountable for at least the next 10 weeks.
I am not only going to have a trainer for the physical, but also the food. As I have noted time and again here, I struggle with sugar. Now someone is going to watch my.food intake. I am frankly a little nervous about that.
It's easy to cheat when it's just me. However, now someone else will actually care. Could I cheat and lie about it, but frankly, I would be wasting my time and money.
I want this. I want to be back to being energetic and healthy. I want that feeling to return where I feel like I can go forever. And to be flat out honest - I want to feel sexy again.
For a while I was feeling unbelievably kittenish and sometimes naughty. I want that urge to smile slyly again at a man I don't know, just to see him smile back - that's power. :)
I also want my self-respect back. I want to be proud of myself again. I want to look in the mirror and like me. Not just like the size of my ass, myself.
The plan is in place, now it's time to act.
Yours in fitness, Kate