When I get ready in the morning I look in the bathroom mirror to make sure my hair has not run amok. When I get dressed in the morning, I glance at the full-length mirror in my room to be sure I am not horribly disheveled. Yesterday I was clothes shopping and looked in the mirror and finally saw me - all of me.
I had caught a glance of myself on TV the other night after the Fight for Air Climb. I instantly recognized my shapeless body with the blue shirt. It made me a bit queasy. But yesterday in nothing but bra and panties I looked again. I was a bit shocked.
You look a certain way in your mind's eye. As you gain weight you let that picture gain weight too - just not nearly at the same rate as reality. I had the same problem as I lost weight. In my head I was bigger than the body in the mirror. Even at my lowest weight, I was 'fat'. I'd like to be that 'fat' again.
As I sat on the bench in the dressing room last night I stared in disbelief and sadness. When did this happen? When did I stop caring enough to do something? When will I fully embrace change and do something again? Or maybe I am doing something right now.
Yours in health,