Busy + Stressed = Junk Food, But Don't Give Up

Today has been one of those days where I had to do my job and the work of others.  Now, I am sitting at work at eight o'clock at night again, trying to finish my own.  Strike that, trying to just put band-aids on things until tomorrow, when I can finish.

All of this has led me to stress eat.  I ordered Chinese delivered this afternoon as I saw everything unraveling.  I knew I would be here late again and I justified it that way.  Team that with the fact that being so busy left me no time for my workout with Gwyn at the YMCA Healthy Living Center and I am unhappy.

And just now?  I took a deep breath, sighed and let it go.  That's what you have to do on the days when 'it' doesn't go the way it should.  'It' being the healthy plan you have carved out for yourself.

We have to let it go, because to be honest, we are too busy not to.  If we don't just mark today off and reaffirm our commitment for tomorrow, we will be lost in a downward spiral.  One meal of junk food can easily lead to the mindset that, "Well, I ate that, I might as well eat this...".  That's how we have gained and lost and gained and lost a thousand times.  We weigh ourselves down with regrets.

So, the next time you have a day like mine, let it wash away.  It's just one day, one meal, one workout; it is not how you are going to live.  No, YOU are going to live healthy, don't give up!

Yours in Health,
Kate

Stupid, Ugly, Angry Day

I am 30 minutes from leaving work and I have to be back at 8 a.m.  I won't go into details, but suffice it to say today went totally off the rails at the hands of others.  I didn't get in my workout because there was a sudden work emergency.  My new kitten is sick.  And on and on.  I have eaten like crap and I am brutally cranky because my life feels out of control.

Whine.

Someone cue Scarlet O'Hara: "Tomorrow is another day."  And that's my story and I am sticking to it.  See you then.

Yours in Health,
Kate

Busy-ness

I sometimes lose track of myself during weeks like this.  I am gratefully preparing to be away from the office for 11 days.  Bad side, the preparing.  Making sure everyone has what they need while I am gone and that nothing falls that I needed to pass on.  So, between the lack of car and time, no workout today.  Though, I am going to do laundry and some yard work tonight.

I am going to Minneapolis Saturday and Sunday for a wedding a one day vacation. :)  Then it's back to Des Moines for the remainder of my time off.  I am excited because it means I can make time to workout every day without having to work around someone else's schedule.  Plus, I will have my car back and my freedom will be awesome.

I have plans to home improve next week as well.  And check out some places within driving distance in Iowa that I have wanted to see, but never make the time.  More than anything I am going to sleep - I feel like this is one of the things missing from my fitness regime.  That and forcing others to do as I want - AKA, let me alone so I can workout.

Well, I better keep plugging away so I can get home to do what needs done.

Yours in Health,
Kate

Steering Off Course

I was supposed to meet with Gwyn yesterday at the YMCA Healthy Living Center.  She is back from vacation and I was excited for the return of her guidance.

Then I got in the car and rolled out of the back drive at the office.  As I started to turn to the right, something slipped and I realized that my steering had pretty much failed.  I drove for half a block debating whether I could limp across town to the HLC and quickly came to the right conclusion - I could cause an accident, killing myself or someone else and that would be stupid.

So, I called to let Gwyn know and then called my saint of a brother, Gordon.  (Did I mention he is good looking and single, ladies?)  He could tell by my tone that 'Bertha' my 93 Buick Skylark was the reason for my dialing him.  I limped her over to Gordon's and he set to looking her over.  We went to his work, Advance Auto Parts, and priced out parts for pretty much everything it could be.  Then back to his place, where he loaned me his truck, telling me, "I love you only slightly more than my truck, so be careful." (He was only half kidding.)

I ran back to work, stopped by home to get him the can of mosquito bombing spray I had.  (The little blood suckers could carry you off at his house.)  And I went back to find Gordon had torn apart more of the car.  Then he showed me what was really wrong - the sheet metal that holds the steering column in place has torn, so it's actually sliding, which explains why my steering wheel was crooked.  Add to that the fact that the panel underneath is rusted through and if that thing had broken loose and dropped, it would have gone right on to the ground - I had made an awesome choice in not going to the gym!

So, Gordon will have Bertha for the next several days.  Lori has been kind enough to share her car with me.  And I am going back to the gym today.  It's time to get everything in my life back on track.

Yours in Health,
Kate

No Voice, No Workout

This stinks.  I woke up this morning and no voice.  Well, let me clarify - I sound like a broken chainsaw intermittently pretending to be Peter Brady in the voice changing episode.  Think gravely meets squeaky.  So, I did what I hate to do, I stayed home.  If I rest my body and voice today, I will undoubtedly be ready to roll tomorrow- at least I better be! 

I know this disappoints trainer Gwyn who I was supposed to meet with for the first time this week.  I am very disappointed too.  But I am still all snotty and not breathing right, combine that with the lack of voice and frankly, who would want to be around me?

I am doing a little work from home, but mostly sleeping.  Which is what my body has informed me it wants again.

Yours in Health,
Kate

Mowing the Lawn is a Workout

In 90 minutes of mowing a person my size burns about 1,000 calories!  It probably doesn't account for the fact that parts of my yard have an evil slope to them because the upper part is raised. ;)  Add to that the fact that it felt like a sauna outside last night and I not only burned off my cheese and fruit snack, but I lost five pounds in pure sweat.  LOL.  Don't worry, the water weight is back today. 

Today is a day off from working out so that I could work-work-work.  I know, nothing unusual there.  But I have to work tomorrow too.  In fact, I will be doing a live broadcast outside and I will probably end up mucho sweaty, so I am going for a swim at the YMCA Healthy Living Center after that.  Bonus!

Well, I need to go for now, I want to start my evening. 

Yours in Health,
Kate

Friday? I've heard that's a good thing...

But it means nothing to me these days.  I have had six days off since the end of December.  One I was sick, one I was recovering from my SVT incident, the other four were actual days off on this thing called a 'weekend'.  I am tired and burned out, but I just keep plodding forward. 

This morning it was a 3:45 alarm going off.  To say it was a struggle is an understatement.  Last night there was a huge fight in front of our house and by the time I dealt with the police and left messages for city council members, because this has to end, I finally settled down to fall asleep about 10:30 - not a great night's sleep.  In fact, I had a dream that I was fired for working too much!  LOL.  I think that is probably proof I do!  By the way, a big thank you to councilman Skip Moore, the only one of three council members I called to answer his phone.

Now, I am running Ken & Colleen's Kids again, a radiothon for the Children's Miracle Network.  You can donate by calling 1-800-456-2772 or going to STAR1025.com.

When I am this tired I only want one thing, eggs and toast and hash-browns because every minute of the day feels like morning.  Instead, I had a big bowl of high fiber oatmeal with almonds.  I am not denying myself anything, but no one is open for breakfast on the way here at 4 am. :)

There will be no workout today.  I am dropping it in lieu of a nap, my body is getting cranky.  But I plan one for tomorrow and maybe Sunday too.  So that will be at least five and maybe six this week.  My abs will appreciate the break.  I hit it hard on them yesterday and I had done core work this week with Gwyn as well.  I made them sore enough that rolling over in bed this morning made me smart.  LOL.

The rest of my day will be air shifts, editing interviews, going out to do three Outstanding Women interviews and get other shifts ready to go for the weekend.  It's another day when I will get home about 7:30 p.m.  Tomorrow though, I will sleep in until 6:30 am - livin' large!

Hope you have a good day! 

Yours in Health,
Kate

Friday Off

My life has been so busy this week I am behind on everything.  So, I am going to take a day off from working out today.  Instead, I plan to workout on Sunday morning before I go to my mom's for dinner.

I am doing two workout-oriented things today.  I am finally going to buy my boxing gloves. (Yea!)  And I am going bowling tonight.  The bowling is for work, sort of.  It's the national NASCAR community day and I have been invited to bowl with NASCAR drivers at Bass Pro Shops as they raise money for charity. 

It should be fun and I have invited my dad to come watch.  He's a big NASCAR fan.  Yesterday, I found out he is finally having hip replacement surgery.  He has been hobbling around since right after he had his knee replaced last year.  To watch a man who is young, just 61, and tough as nails be in so much pain has brought me great pain too.  You never wish surgery on someone and yet, I am glad he will finally have relief.

Well, I better go get back to it.  Have a good day!

Yours in Health,
Kate

What a Week!

I apologize for not posting since Monday, but I have had my worst week in a while.

Tuesday I was feeling better, so I worked, worked out with Gwyn, did physical therapy with Kristi and then went to the dentist.  I had my teeth cleaned and then headed to the mall to return some shoes.  I was just sitting down to try on a different pair when - WHAM!  My heart started racing.

I tried to breathe my way through it.  I tried to write it off as an asthma attack (which happens maybe one every couple of years).  Then it was anxiety, I tried for deeper breaths.  Finally, 10 minutes in to this I realized - there was no 'getting over' this, I needed assistance.

I asked the clerk to just return the shoes.  She asked if I was o.k., I said I just wasn't feeling well and staggered from the store.  I knew I was a 4 minute drive from Mercy West Lakes Hospital and in my mind it was much faster to drive there than wait for an ambulance, especially because I had no idea what was happening to me.  So yes, I did something I am now advising you not to do - I drove myself to the hospital.

By the time I arrived I was ready to pass out.  My breathing was shallow and my heart was going so fast, I thought it would explode.  It was more hard flutters than actual beats as my hands and feet started to feel numb and I began slurring my words.

The nurse rushed me into the treatment room and soon there was a whir of activity surrounding me.  Megan the RN and Dr. Smith had a brief discussion after reviewing my symptoms and tests.  Dr. Smith then told me he believed it was supraventricular tachycardia.  It's a heart rhythm disorder that can strike out of nowhere.  It had driven my heart rate over 200 beats per minute.  (Example - Average resting heart rate 80-90.)

Dr. Smith told me he was going to give me a medication that would slow my heart down, but it would feel kind of like a truck going through me.  He pushed the drug into my IV and guess what?  Very right.  But the first dose didn't work and he had to double it for the next round.  That really smarted and my left side felt like it ceased to exist.  But my heart rate slowly lowered to about 100 over the next ten to fifteen minutes. 

They kept me for observation for a few hours and then sent me home with instructions.  They told me this was probably brought on by stress and lack of sleep.  It can affect anyone from birth to 99.  It can also happen with too much caffeine, but oddly, I don't drink enough for that to be the issue. :)  So, instead they told me to rest and then resume my regular schedule as I felt o.k.

To say it scared the crap out of me is an understatement.  I stayed home Wednesday and did my best to sleep.  To be honest, it was a bit daunting to lay down and close my eyes after my heart was so out of control.  Then yesterday, I slowly worked my way back in.  I worked and took two naps in between.  I did go to physical therapy and did a water workout as well, and here is why...

I have been down this road too many times.  I just get things moving in the right direction and something stupid happens.  I have, in the past, been rear ended in my car, injured my knee, had cancer scares, etc.  I refuse to let this be an excuse.  I refuse to stop, I have to keep going. 

Dr. Smith said I could do just that.  I don't have to give anything up.  This could happen again or it could never happen again.  If it becomes an ongoing thing, then I will have to be treated in another way.  When I look back I can name small incidences of this, but they only lasted a few minutes and I wrote them off.  SVT is not life-threatening, but it has to be treated.  O.k., so now that I know what it was, I know how to deal with it.

Honestly, I am a little skittish.  Every time I have an ache or something 'moves' oddly, I get nervous.  I will work on that.  But I will do it while I am working on the rest of me.  So, this afternoon I am going to run the other errand I was going to on Tuesday when this all happened - getting my own pair of boxing gloves, look out heavy bag!

Yours in Health,
Kate

Quick Friday Notes

I don't have time for a workout today - I will be making it up on Sunday.  I have three personal appearances in the next 24 hours, plus two other commitments.  Time is getting away from me. 

I am going to lay off of artificial sweeteners for a couple of days.  I had some sugar-free syrup in my coffee this morning and I can't get that icky sweet taste out of my mouth.  That's like the third time this week.  I think my body is telling me something.

I have to start to declutter the house.  I am thinking about taking next week off from TV and use those extra couple of hours for that.

There you are, random thoughts.  Hope you have a great weekend!

Yours in Health,
Kate

Can I take a Nap Now?

It has been a long weekend.  Right now I am sitting at work and I will be here another couple of hours.  Then it's off to a birthday party.  Then, I hope, home to do some yard work - something I haven't been able to do in two weeks.  Thank goodness for Lori or we would have been given a warning by the city for growing our own jungle!

And as the sun weaves in and out of the clouds, all I really want is a nap, because this long weekend has left me exhausted.  Oh well, perhaps all the other things I need to do will give me the energy I need to make it through to bedtime tonight.

BTW - Today is a day off from workout, unless you count the possibility of yard work - but that brings me great satisfaction, so I won't notice if I break a sweat. :)

Yours in Health,
Kate

Friday in Disarray

It's late and I am going to be brief.  Today was good and bad. 

Bad - everything got in the way, no workout because things went wrong and other people needed things.  Leaving me stressed and wondering when this will change.  June 32nd of never?  Probably.

Good - Coffee with a friend that makes me smile the rest of the day after seeing him and tonight we won the Beacon of Life Quiz Bowl.  If you have never had a team for this, put one together for the next one - it's a blast.

Well, very tired. Bed.

Yours in Health,
Kate

I'm Tired, but it's a Good Tired

I have been working seven days a week for more than a month and a half.  Monday through Friday it's 10-12 hour days.  Saturday and Sunday I can usually get away with 4 or so.  It's at the point where people are questioning my sanity.  But the truth is, I have a job and this won't last forever.  Soon enough things will slow down and I will get a day off a week and possibly even go home after 9 hours on the weekdays.

Today was a 12 hour day, but it was one of the ones I wouldn't give back.  Yes, it was stressful and yes, it was a day without a workout. (There have been a lot of those lately.)  But among the things I did today was a visit to Unity Place, the building we are renovating with Hearts for Homes.  It was a joy, even through tired eyes, to see the physical place that our work is creating for the women of the YWCA to find safe harbor as they grow into independent, powerful women of Des Moines. 

Each apartment is simple, but compared to the rooms they have been staying in at the Y, it's very nice.  Each apartment has two bedrooms - with good sized closets, two bathrooms and a shared kitchen and living room space.  Downstairs there is a common area where the women can watch TV or socialize.  On occasion, some of the non-profits working with them will hold classes there.

For the women with children, there are slightly bigger apartments and a safe grassy area for the kids to play outside.  It warmed me greatly on this snowy Iowa day to think of kids getting to play somewhere other than in a gym or on concrete as they have downtown. 

Unity Place is right on the bus line.  It's near schools.  It's in a residential neighborhood.  It is a another step toward a normal, responsible life, just like the rest of us.  It is the very meaning of "a hand up, not a hand out".

I've talked a lot lately about gratitude and this project makes me all the more grateful.  I may not be a size ten these days, but I have an abundance of other skills that allow me to make a difference.  And no perfect fitting pair of jeans in the world will make you feel as great as helping someone in need into a new home.

Yours in health,
Kate

Food is Everywhere

The day started fine - banana, oatmeal, coffee.

Lunch hit at Workplace of the Week for KIOA, the downhill slide began. Pizza, lots of gooey, yummy Boston's Gourmet pizza. Then Starbuck's with sugar and a cookie.

I am leaving in a few minutes to run home and then go out to dinner for Gordon's birthday at Famous Dave's.

It's official - this is an off day.

Oh, and no workout - too busy, imagine that.

Yours in (um, well) "health", Kate

Long Day

No workout today. Started work at 5 a.m. Took a two hour break to go to doctor and eat lunch from noon-2 p.m. Just leaving work now.

I am tired and trying to find my footing in getting my life back. I have let it swan out before me in 10-12 hour days for months, there's only so long that can stand.

For now, I will settle for finding dinner, my cats and my couch.

Yours in health, Kate

Tripping toward my wits end

I am exhausted. I never had a chance to recover from the weekend and now I have just put in another 10 hour day. I would sleep in tomorrow but I have to deal with a situation first thing.

I am so frustrated and tired I just want to cry.

I want to eat and sleep and do absolutely nothing.

I am on the edge of, ah crap, I have no idea what.

I am hoping to go to bed early and wake up with a fresh perspective.

I just keep repeating, "I am grateful for what I have and will not dwell on what I don't". Hopefully soon I will believe it.

Yours, Kate

The Ubiquitous Kate Garner

I am punch drunk. After several days, hell weeks, of being everywhere all the time, I am crisp like microwave bacon. Then about half an hour ago, while finishing up a project at work, I accidentally nicknamed myself.

I love my vocabulary, despite the fact that people make fun of me for it. I like big words, knowing their meaning and when to use them. But you know that you've gone beyond tired when the first thing that pops into your head when someone says, 'gee you're everywhere', is ubiquitous.

To quote directly from Webster's dictionary - UbiquitousU*biq"ui*tous\, a. [See Ubiquity.] Existing or being everywhere, or in all places, at the same time; omnipresent. -- U*biq"ui*tous*ly, adv.

Sadly, I can't even deny it and be all 'no, it just seems that way'. I really am and it's starting to wear thin.

I do not want to complain, I am happy to have my job. Most days I enjoy my job. And even on days like, well I was going to say today, but I will have to be clearer - 24 hour passages - like this one, I am grateful.

But even the listeners are noticing. One called Friday to the front desk and asked if the guy who used to do nights on KIOA was coming back. Kathy told him no. He said that was o.k., he liked me, but it seemed like I was everywhere. Tonight (last night) when I was filling on the STAR 102.5 70's show, I had a listener call and say it was great to hear me, but wow, how many stations am I on? He had heard me on KIOA, Lite and Star all within 24 hours and was a little confused. Join the club.

My whole goal these days when I walk into a studio is to not screw up and say the wrong call letters. LOL.

And to add to my punch-drunk amusement in this situation? As I came to my desk to type this, I realized the clocks had corrected. It's now 3 o'clock in the morning, not 2. Despite having reminded people all night to set their clocks ahead, i tiredly forgot that would mean I would lose an hour of sleep I probably wasn't getting anyway.

Plus, I had a migraine this afternoon and a good part of tonight. Whine.

The gym and I seem to have been separated by work and fate this weekend and that thought makes me even more tired.

Yours in exhaustion, Kate

Finally, the end of the day

This will be very short. I have worked 12 hours, I am going home.

Did not get a workout in because of work and the fact that my knee is throbbing. In fact, the knee is bad enough I might not have gone to the gym, even if there had magically been time.

That being said, after working from 5:30a to Noon tomorrow and going to a lunch for my step-grandmother's birthday - I am going to the gym - period.

Now, I am going home to my turkey burger.

Yours in health, Kate

bodybugg

I love mine. I am becoming addicted to know how many calories I expend in a day. This sucker keeps track of calories burned and steps taken. I plug it in and bam - I know where I am for the day.

Add that to my religiously logging food (a.k.a the FLog) again and I am on my way.

Just two weeks in to my recommitment to me and I have more energy. Thank goodness, because it was getting brutally hard to work 10 and 11 hours day every day. At least now when I walk away I still have energy to go home and get dinner before passing out. :)

Didn't get a workout in today, because work ran so long. But that's o.k. I have every intention of making this my one and only day off this week.

Yours in health, Kate

P.S. - Lori fixed an extremely low cost, reasonably caloried and very tasty meal last night for dinner. I will ask her to post it on her blog and link over.

Where the Hell Have I Been?

24 days. That's how long it has been since my last post.

In that time we have elected a new president, my job has changed again, I have gained more weight, my knee injury is only slightly better, I have moved into my new house and I have come to the conclusion it's time to seek help.

Well, geez. I wasn't really going to talk about that last one. But I will in a minute because apparently I need to. First - the other things.

A new president - The election sucked away my time, as expected. I ate poorly and exercised, not at all.

My job - It's complicated, as usual. I will again be making a transition because it's best for the team. I have no idea whether it's best for me or not, I've had no time or inclination to think about it.

The weight - I am attempting to eat my emotions away. One cookie, cake and sub sandwich at a time, hoping to assuage my pain, so far, it's not working for crap.

My knee - I had an MRI. There is a tear in my cartilage, but it's not where it should be causing pain. They would like to do exploratory surgery. I am giving it another couple months of therapy and then reassessing. I have this thing about knives.

My new house - That's what sapped my time after the election. I had to pack and plan and execute a move. Everything went almost exactly as planned - right up until we landed with the first truckload last Saturday and one half of the former owners was still moving out. I kind of saw it coming though and rolled with it. The way I have been feeling lately, that was kind of a little miracle. Anyway, just in the unpacking phase now. Next week is about creating a list of projects and putting together a five year plan for remodels and renovations.

My mental health - I have eluded to it here on the blog for months. Things have been falling to pieces inside my head. I am at the point where I feel like I can't deal with them alone. I will be seeking counseling next week.

I think a lot of things have lead to this point, again. And all of the reasons above, as well as my continued crap luck with men have been a catalyst. That last part pisses me off the most. That I would let anything any man might do affect my mental health or eating habits makes me angry, mostly at myself. Once more I have fallen into a spiraling pattern of pain and self-loathing.

I will NOT let this happen. It is not o.k. to be in pain. It is not o.k. to eat myself back to morbidly obese. This will get better.

The difference now is that I recognize these patterns. That means, when I do walk into a counseling session, I will be ready to be helped and that is half the battle.

Yours, getting back into the saddle, Kate