Thursday, November 1, 2007

Old Habits, New Habits

I have spent the last 15.5 months creating old habits, that is, letting bad tendencies go by the way side. I have also been creating new habits to make myself a stronger, healthier, more confident person.

This week I realized I have spent the last few months perpetuating an old habit. One that is emotional and has nothing to do with food or fitness, so I have been ignoring it. Two days ago I decided to face down the situation, because part of changing my body is changing my mind.

I got the answer I didn't want. That, once again, I have created a heart-breaking situation for myself by putting forth unrealistic goals. Not physical, emotional. Physical right now I could handle, my heart is just not as fit.

So, after I found my answer, I went home not knowing whether to cry or be sick. My bad habit is to verbally beat myself up, eat chocolate, crawl into bed and go to sleep. I sat fighting back tears, getting love from Charlie cat and fighting this proclivity to dive into self pity and self abuse.

The last thing I should do is curl up and just melt into the floor.
So, I didn't. Instead, for the first time in longer than I can remember, I literally picked myself up, dusted off and got back to life - a new habit.

I headed to Fitness World West. I'll be honest, my heart hurt and I was not in the mood, but I went. And when I got there, I busted my butt.

You see, above everything else, I was angry with myself for falling in to that bad habit - going down that same stupid road again.

But thankfully I put that anger into an hour of cardio, some crunches and some weights, instead of a crying jag and a night in bed.

My new habit won the day.

After the workout I felt a bit better about the situation that had precipitated the need to put the new habit into action. But I really felt good about having the new habit to fall back on in the first place.

Yours in fitness, Kate

No comments:

Post a Comment