It has been a long week (yes, I know it's only Wednesday) with little in the way of useful blogging, so I thought I would cover the week thus far and end with a funny story.
Monday - It was a lower body workout with trainer Gwyn at the YMCA Healthy Living Center. This was when I found out I use my left leg to push back as I pull the mower up the mini-hill time and again in our slightly sloped yard. My left calf felt like it had been ripped apart and when I commented to Gwyn, she made the very common sense query, "So which leg did you use pulling the mower up?" This is why I love her!
Then Monday night it was on to Intuitive Eating class at the Mercy Weight Loss and Nutrition Center. Two weeks away had left some people feeling they had lost momentum. I personally felt about the same, though disgusted with my lack of ability to push away the 'food police'. (Cue Cheap Trick's "Dream Police" because this is what I hear in my head every time dietitian Katie uses the phrase.)
Anyway, the 'food police' can be anyone including YOU. It's the rules that are put into place around food and most of them can be damaging or at the minimum, useless. We tend to pick these up from every diet we have ever tried, our parents and in magazines. In your mind, as you debate food they can sound like - "You can never eat brownies because you never stop at one." or "The fat in that will go right to your thighs." The first one assumes failure and the second is just plain biologically incorrect.
The food police can be outside of you as well. It sound like, "You aren't going to eat THAT are you?" or "What do you mean you don't want ice cream?" The latter is food police/ food pusher all rolled into one and it's that one that I struggle with most. I am bad at saying 'no', in fact, I suck at it.
I am a people pleaser, even if it makes me plumper. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by turning away that homemade cake or not joining in the social communing of ice cream sundaes. But really, for the temporary hurt it may cause (or probably won't and I am just being hyper-sensitive), I am only hurting myself. I hurt myself by eating the things that aren't good for me, but also by giving up my control and my choice. No one else should have that power but me. I have to work on this.
One of the big things that we work on on IE class is that no food is 'bad'. There are better choices, but if you REALLY want that chocolate cake it's better to have a small piece now than deprive yourself and binge on the cake itself later. Or worse yet, eat what you think you should eat, it doesn't satisfy you and you keep eating everything in sight because you are hungry. Truth be told, you are not hungry for just anything, you are hungry for the thing you have denied yourself and your body won't really be satisfied until you follow through on its original craving. It all makes sense when you look at it, but we have spent so long dieting and denying that we have lost all ability to tell what is real and imagined in with our hunger and food cues.
Tuesday: It was all about upper-body with Gwyn. I love working my arms and shoulders, even when it's hard and my arms end up jelly. I love that my collar bones have made a slight appearance and that I am getting muscle definition back in my biceps - both of these were goals from the beginning. However, I had another 'lawn mower' moment when I whined that my right bicep really hurt and Gwyn and her common sense spoke up again, "Would that be the arm you used to pull the mower up those hills?" LOL. Duh, yep.
Wednesday (um, today): I worked out with Gwyn, today was core. In the middle of the workout something slipped in my back and balled up my muscles. Now every time I bend too far to the left or breathe too deep my back hurts. But that didn't stop me from finishing the planned workout. I did skip the third set of planks though, because that made it hurt the most. When I was trying to figure out why my back hurt out of nowhere, Gwyn commented that it might be the mower again, because that would be the motion of pulling the cord to start it. Again, she may be on to something as the elderly thing required about 30 pulls to get it started, even with priming.
I sat in the steam room and then took a long shower, it feels a little better. But I'm sure after sleeping on it tonight, it will be very stiff in the morning. That's why I am planning a water workout. It always helps to get in the water and get the extra stretch that buoyancy allows.
And as for the funny story...
I go to the gynecologist today and am sitting waiting for the doctor. And waiting and waiting. I went to ask how much longer it would be and they apologized - he was called away to deliver a baby! LOL. You can't argue with that. He came back as quickly as he could and then they rushed me through with further apologies. I asked if the baby was happy and healthy, the doctor said, "Yes" and I told him, "Then there's no need to apologize." :)
Yours in Health,